The 10 Golden Rules of Negotiation

“The resolution of conflict by mutual compromise”

By Alan McCarthy

In today’s competitive business environment, an absence of negotiation - or negotiation skills - is perhaps the single largest contributor to the lack of success. The changing nature of the buyer/supplier relationship in this increasingly challenging marketplace means all business people need to be ultra sophisticated negotiators.


Of course good negotiation isn’t about you Winning and someone else Losing. A satisfactory outcome leaves both sides feeling that they haven’t compromised too much, felt threatened or unnecessarily pressurised, or made sacrifices that they didn’t want to. It is about reaching a Win-Win resolution. People now expect to negotiate and see the process as a positive relationship builder, rather than a potential threat. Principled negotiation can achieve a solution that is acceptable to all parties involved, which of course, encourages repeat business.
Alan McCarthy of the Resource Development Centre suggests 10 negotiation rules that will resolve conflict by mutual compromise and promote sustained relationships.

What are the 10 rules of successful negotiation?
The rules are intended to identify the techniques available to control and influence events to the individual’s own advantage. They also provide a good defence against aggressive negotiators, thereby producing better agreements with fewer expensive concessions.
Everyone feels that they know how to negotiate, just as everyone knows how to kick a football. But try explaining the “off-side” rule to a beginner and compare that with understanding the subtleties of defensive negotiation, it is then that the need for clear rules becomes more important.

Don’t. (Negotiate) unless you need to. Always evaluate your needs honestly and buy/sell hard; never, if at all possible Negotiate, as it always requires compromise, which costs. Some people are tempted to negotiate too soon, just because the other party says this is the “negotiation phase” – doesn’t make it so. Work out your ideal position and don’t be afraid to state it straight away.

Never negotiate with yourself. People regularly try to second guess the other party and in doing so minimise their own expectations i.e. “Ideally I want to be paid $10,000 for this, but maybe they don’t have that much. If I ask for $10k or nearest offer, it might sound less aggressive” – this is the start of negotiating with yourself. If you start reducing your expectations from your ideal before you even see the “whites of their eyes”, you will always end up with a lesser, over-compromised deal. Start out with your ideal and wait for the other party to ask for a lower figure.

Never accept the first offer. There is almost always a different (better) offer behind it. Don’t forget they will be instinctively (or professionally) trying not to break rule 2 – so their opening stance will obviously be leaning towards their ideal (perfect) position – with probable room for manoeuvre. Also, be aware, that you can sometimes annoy the other party by accepting their first offer; if you accept too quickly they will think they should have asked for more, resulting in their perception of a lose/win conclusion (they lost, you won).

Never make the first offer. (If you can help it!) It leaks your bottom line straight away. Always ask the other party “What is your ideal (or target) price?” If you are backed into a corner – or a “I asked you first………” situation occurs, make the offer under protest and don’t break rule 2. State your ideal position i.e. your list price if you’re selling or your lowest target price if you’re buying.

Listen more and talk less. Good negotiators lead by listening, not talking. Let them ramble on even if it sounds like rubbish, you must bide your time and bite your tongue. Continued silence will provide you with the opportunity to pick off their position by their leaked messages of movement. Also, don’t forget, whilst You are listening You can’t leak your own position and give them the advantage!

No free gifts. Always ask for something in return. No one values a free gift for long (it immediately decreases in value once it has been offered), and a free gift today becomes tomorrows starting point. Don’t forget free gifts are not always money, but can be the disclosure of useful information or even giving up your time too easily.
Don’t be the repentant rookie. Don’t forget the differences between cost, price and value, and work with these. Cost is how much the concessions cost you, price is how much you want to charge for it and value is what its worth to the other party
i.e.: The cost of this tap washer is 10 cents, the price to fit it is 10 minutes of my time, which is $10, the value to the other party is that it doesn’t ruin their bathroom carpet and destroy the living room ceiling plaster at $500 replacement. Aim for the super win-win, where both parties get high value concessions at low cost i.e. We will finish the job early if you pay 100% up-front, in cash.

Watch out for the ‘salami’ effect (i.e. itemising every element of the deal and pricing it). Start with a complete value-orientated price e.g. materials, labour, clean-up and a 5-year guarantee - $1000. Not $300 materials, $500 labour, $100 clean-up and $100 5-year guarantee.
The other party will always know where to buy cheaper materials, then query your labour rates, say they’ll do the clean-up themselves and forego the guarantee – thank you very much!
So a $1,000 deal easily becomes $200-materials, $400-labour in total a smaller, $600 job. That’s the Salami effect!
Only salami when, and as far as you are requested to. Never ‘band’ your expectations – it leaks your bottom line i.e. “ I am looking for a 10-15% discount.” Which one do you think you are more likely to get? Yep, it’s going to be closer to 10% than 15%!

Never make a quick deal. Say ‘maybe’, a quick deal usually ends up in regret. Check your understanding of their offer, by repeating it back to them. It may be that the other party think that they have seen an advantage for them (or mistake by you) you have missed, so give yourself time to check the proposed agreement thoroughly. Never be afraid to take a short break and review your position before concluding proceedings.

Never disclose your bottom line. Not before you start, not during the discussions and never (ever) after a successful win-win conclusion. By doing this you will always be giving the other party an undue advantage over you. People learn their negotiation skills from their interaction with you. They also learn your limitations and abilities in post negotiation analysis. So don’t let them know how you work under any circumstances – keep them guessing about your no-deal positions and they will have to move more towards you than you will towards them.
If you follow all of these rules you will rarely feel the pain the losers regret, something often experienced by non-professional negotiators who fail to recognise that there are rules to follow when resolving conflict.