There are low-pressure ways to nurture her hand preference.

Renée Sagiv Riebling

My husband and I debated whether our kids would be lefties or righties. He and his siblings are all right-handed, though their dad is left-handed. My brother and I are both lefties, though our only southpaw rel tive was a great-aunt who became a righty after teachers tied her left hand behind her back. Fortunately, today there are better ways to help your preschooler determine his favorite side without resorting to hand-tying tactics.

Handedness emerges | A preference for one hand usually shows up around age 2 or 3. While it’s developmentally appropriate for 3-year olds to still be switchers—and occasional alternating may happen in some kids until age 8—you should notice a preference around age 4. That’s because 4 is generally the age at which preschoolers are expected to perform and progress at activities such as drawing, painting, and handwriting that involve using tools in a refined way, says occupational therapist Jan Z. Olsen, developer of the Handwriting Without Tears program: “When your child is working on a skill that needs to improve by repeating, her performance won’t get better if she’s splitting her practice between left and right.” It’s okay if she uses one hand for writing and the other for a different task (like throwing a ball), and some kids may continue to favor their “opposite” hand for some things, such as sports or playing an instrument. But once handwriting instruction begins it’s better to consistently use the same hand for that task. “Children need to be building habits for controlling and moving the pencil,” Olsen explains.

Why some kids switch | If your child is 4 and not clearly a lefty or a righty, it’s possible that his mixed dominance is part of a larger pattern. For example, if he lacks patience he might just grab and use a crayon in whatever hand is closest, says Sandra Schefkind, pediatric program manager at the American Occupational Therapy Association. If he struggles with physical coordination and motor function in other areas, constant switching could be a sign of a developmental delay and should be discussed with his pediatrician. But very often, the culprit is simply fatigue due to weak hand muscles and immature fine motor skills, explains Patricia Clark, occupational therapist for the Somerville school district in New Jersey. Activities like building with Lego bricks, molding Play-Doh, dressing small dolls, and playing games with little pieces can help strengthen your child’s small hand muscles and prevent them from tiring easily. Another common cause for switching is difficulty with “crossing the midline”: your child may have trouble spontaneously reaching across his body. If that’s the case, you’ll know because he’ll switch hands at the center of his body rather than reach across it. For example, you might see him color with his left hand on the left side of the paper and with his right hand on the right side. Again, learning through play is best. Encourage pastimes like beanbag tossing and hand games like Miss Mary Mack For an organized activity try swimming, yoga, or tae kwon do, says Schefkind.

Testing her choice | If it seems like your child doesn’t have a dominant hand, you might be able to discern her natural inclination by keeping a written record for a day or two. Place a variety of objects, such as her snack, fork, and toothbrush, directly in front of her and note which hand she uses to reach for them. When your tally reveals that she is choosing one hand 70 percent of the time, you can safely assume that is her preferred side. Gently encourage her to use it for tasks by placing writing implements, eating utensils, and even her drinking cup on that side. When you give her something, put it in her dominant hand. Also, leave her in charge of her own self-care when possible, Schefkind recommends. Since many of the motions involved with grooming and dressing (zippering, for instance) entail one hand being the “leader” and the other being the “helper,” your child will discover for herself which hand is better suited for which role. If your tally reveals she truly is at 50/50, don’t worry. Keep giving her lots of practice using her small hand muscles and try again in a month or so. However, if your child is nearing kindergarten and her fine motor skills seem significantly behind those of her peers, talk to her pediatrician.

What to know about lefties | When McMinnville, Oregon, mom Sara Tucholsky and her husband, Dan, who are both righties, discovered that their son, Colton, was a lefty, they noticed that he did some things differently. For example, Colton would write a check mark long side first, and they wondered whether they should be correcting him. According to Olsen, many such differences between righties and lefties are natural. You also can expect your little lefty to make circles clockwise and form horizontal lines from right to left, which isn’t what righties do. Note, however, that handwriting instruction sheets generally show left-to-right strokes when crossing letters. Tell your child it’s okay to make his lines the opposite way, or you can redraw the arrow. When modeling how to write or draw, position yourself on your child’s right so his hand isn’t blocking what you’re demonstrating. “Parents of lefties tend to worry that they won’t be able to help their child learn to write if they, themselves, are right-handed,” says Laurie Canedy, a teacher at Shepherd of the Hills Preschool in Mission Viejo, California. “Left-handed students show the same growth and abilities when learning to write as their right-handed counterparts.” I know from experience that this is true—not only because I’m a lefty, but because my son ended up being a lefty too!